My teacher, BECKY.

People choose great teachers and heroes for themselves. I also do. I have selected great teachers and models who have helped to guide my thoughts and actions. I would really have loved to dedicate this post to them but my hen, Becky is my current celebrity, so I am dedicating this post to her. *wide smile*

I named her BECKY because she is just like my elder sister also named BECKY – character-wise (tough, resilient, okay with being alone and do not ‘need’ people’s approval to do what should be done).

Becky (my brown hen) was given to me by a friend so I took her away from her family at a tender age just because I was too eager to have a pet. She was so lonely, fragile and was the smallest of all the birds in my neighbourhood. That worked ill for her. She was bullied, had no relationships, missed her family, had no real home, was hungry in the midst of plenty (the other birds won’t let her eat with them), etc. Even when I feed her, older birds (bullies) deprived her of her own food!

I deliberately decided to do nothing about it. I wanted to see how resilient she is. I wanted to see if she will give up like we (humans) always do. I wanted to see how much she could take. I observed and watched her daily and made mental notes of her adaptation to the “harsh” life she had been exposed to and to her gradual progress. Days became weeks and weeks rolled up into months...

Just few days ago, I saw her looking so beautiful, robust and splendid with very bright-red comb and wattles, shiny brown-black plumage around her neck and lower back region and lots of friends around her. I was close to tears as I remembered the bible verse that says “the rejected stone has become the corner stone”. She had overcome and is still overcoming. I looked for those older birds that always deprived her of her food, alas, they are all gone – expired! I watched her to see if she is a bully too, I was too elated to discover that she isn't a bully – she had forgiven her enemies. Younger birds are free around her – except when I feed her! She had learnt to take what belongs to her! Wow! She going to be a mother soon. I can’t wait to tell her chicks how fortunate they are to have a mother so brave, resilient and confident.

Highlights from Becky’s struggles and victory.

·     The loneliness and rejection she faced were not enough to make her despair of life. She could take them all and even lots more! Moral: Refuse to give up just because no one has chosen to stand with you. Convert your lonely times to reflection times. Remember, the best inventions were not gotten in conferences and summits but by individuals who shut themselves away from public glare until they ‘struck gold’.

·   When bullied, she walks away confidently and calmly as if she had not been bullied. She wouldn't moan over her deprivation but will rather look for elsewhere to get food. Moral: Don’t cry over what you can let go. The present and past may be sour, but the future is yet undecided. Plough your frustrations into building a future that will provide all you have been presently deprived of!

·   She forgave her bullies. I have never seen her fight with any of them till date. Moral: Sometimes, lying low isn't cowardice. With time, your bullies will expire just like Becky's bullies expired. Today she eats what she wants, goes wherever she wants and has tons of friends who come home with her for lunch daily. Moral: Empty your heart of all bitterness. When people hurt you, they take power over you. When you refuse to forgive them, they keep that power.

·     She forgave herself too. She is not bitter. She is not cruel. Though she suffered from bullies, she did not become a bully herself. Younger birds are at peace around her. She is more like a mother, though not yet with chicks. Moral: Do not pay back people for the wrong other people did to you. Do not retain bitterness over what you have suffered in the past. Those who hurt you are no longer here, why make others.

·     Becky taught me that tough times never last! Yea, they never do. Though it seemed like she wasn't going to have a full life, she pressed on with hope and faith. Today she is living a full life. Moral: Hold onto your dreams. Times may be hard but hold on still. If you let your dream die, then life becomes like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.

     

    Has Becky taught you something too? If yes, just wish her well. She is about having chicks soon.

     I love to hear from you.

     Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

 

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Why wait when you can act?

This post is dedicated to Nigerians...and to YOU!

October is here. The month Nigeria celebrates her independence. The month Nigeria became master over herself some 53 years ago. The month in which Nigeria took full responsibility for herself. As I congratulate Nigeria for a work in progress, I put a challenge across to you...

·         Have you taken responsibility over your own life and destiny?

·         Do you still feel discouraged because no one is supporting your dreams?

·         Are you still dependent on government and people for your life and future?

Reflect on those questions!

Nigeria’s Independence Day Celebration made me think deep about life and people. I read a lot of comments from people and discovered that tons of ideas are yet to leave the brain cells which created them just the government have not yet provided an enabling environment. What a waste! 

I felt so bad about how dependent we have become on others and the government. It pained me to see talents and potentials waste all because people await encouragement and support from government and other institution they un-wisely depend on. We have gradually come to think and believe that the government has all the solutions and must give their nod before we move on with our ideas. If government refuses to give you an enabling environment, will you prefer to sit and whine or create an enabling environment for yourself? Why wait when you can act? Why waste time waiting until others act when you can pull things off by yourself?

It is very true that we need others to do certain things. I agree with that. But if they do not show up, do we bury our dreams and ideas? Never! We ought to go out there to get those who are willing! That’s taking responsibility! If support doesn't come, go out and get it! If help doesn't come, go get it out there. By all means, don’t fail to act just because PEOPLE didn't make it easy for you.

Good news: You don’t need to have a bad idea before people give you a cold shoulder! Infact, you will get good support if your idea is bad! Reflect about what I just said before reading on. Take the clue and prove to the world that your rejected idea was worth it!

Great ideas suffer one thing in common : REJECTION.

I dare you today to come out of your comfort zone and take charge of the reins of your life! Get out of that cozy comfort you have been caged in for years and confront life with boldness and courage! Stop whining and complaining about how bad the government is, rather take that as a challenge and prove to the world that no one is indispensable in your voyage to destiny except God!

Issues that concern you shouldn't be left to chance. Remember, the best helping hand you can ever get is the one at the end of your own arm! Be wise! Act now!

I await your success story!!!

I love to hear from you.

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064.

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HORN THE BULLS

Today’s post is dedicated to those who have risen above complains and have started taking initiatives where and when  needed...and to those who will start to horn the bulls after reading this.

The commonest injuries cowboys experience are those associated with the horns of the bulls. Bulls are very powerful animals but more powerful is the man who can horn them (immobilize the horns)! Horn the bulls is my own way of saying...take charge of the problem – don’t just talk about it. Let me state emphatically here that...”you have no right to complain about any issue you have ability to solve but have done nothing about yet – just ‘enjoy’ it!”.

My mentor, friend and father (Girish Gogia – more about him later) said something of great worth last week Friday which I am just too excited to share with you. He said “By taking a single step, you have already out-performed millions of people who’ve made excuses!”. That is the crux of issues in our society today. Who will horn the bulls?

There’s too much talk about what to do and what not to do but less actions are taken! Too much complain about what does not work but less actions to put it right. Truly, talk is cheap!

But then, there is a goodnews... oh yes! A very good one. The goodnews is that we (you and me) are better positioned now to shine brighter  than ever before!

As more darkness and irresponsibility covers out society, we who carry light in our hearts (BrightHearts) have more influence and our light is better seen. Since no one in willing to horn the bulls, the few who have determined to do so are worshipped and showered with good things ranging from the emotional to the physical. Society idolize those who are brave enough to oppose the status quo and yet succeed.

If no one will do it, get up, do it and become the star! If no one will stem the crazy tide of irresponsibility ravaging our societies, you get up, stem it and become the next ‘talk of the town’. Take responsibility and make a name for yourself! The road to glory and fame is laden with RESPONSIBILITIES which many rejected and have remained obscure till date.

Hey champion, don’t remain obscure. There is a lot hidden inside of you that will be of great value to the world around you. Refuse to be despised because of your age, background or status. Greatness is not synonymous to age! More importantly, refuse to despise yourself. You can doubt everyone else, please, don’t doubt yourself!

Remember... By taking a step, just one step, in line with your dream and passion, you have out-performed millions of others who’ve only made excuses (complains).

Are you ready to horn the bulls...?

Get set...

GO !!!

Be free to share your thoughts and concerns with me via soaringeagle4life@gmail.com  OR +23408130207064

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Sign your autograph on me

I am very happy at the turn of events right now. As more evil prevail, we have more and more opportunities to show people we have bright-hearts. The darker the environment, the greater effect a light has!

I remembered seeing a film where a best-selling author has so many people asking for his autograph that he got a table and asked them to queue up. Wow! It was a long queue! He must have been really admired to have such a queue waiting for his autograph.

Autographs aren't really new to us. Your autograph is simply your handwriting or signature. No doubt, you have seen people ask for other people’s autographs. They do this because they greatly admire those people and want to have a kind of souvenir with which to remember those they admire.

I have always fantasized that someday, I will walk down a street – any street - and people will rush out asking me to sign my autograph for them. I have carried this dream for so long until truth dawned on me. I discovered that my dream has long come to pass but unfortunately I deliberately refused to sign my autograph despite the desperate pleas of people I meet where ever I go.

The truth I discovered is that people have a silent plea in their hearts – a desperate plea. They ache for normalcy. They ache for affection. They ache for relationships. They are emotionally hungry and mal-nourished, without hope of being shown love or care. A simple smile will do them a world of good. A friendly hug will help lighten their burden. A sincere and sweet sentence will help a great deal. They silently plead with us: SIGN YOUR AUTOGRAPH ON ME. We move about each day oblivious of the pains and hurts in the people we interact with. We fail to notice the forced smile on their faces or the mechanical laughter they try to conjure in their bid to cover up their pains. Painfully, we leave them as we met them without fulfilling their silent but desperate plea: SIGN YOUR AUTOGRAPH ON ME.

What will you be most remembered for? Your insensitivity or sensitivity? Your lack of affection or your warm heart? Your coldness to others or the warmth you radiate? Your self-centered-ness or selflessness? Your value-added interactions or your value-diminishing interactions? If the summary of your existence with others is negative then it means you have successfully denied them their pleas to have you sign your autograph on them – on their hearts.

Have a minute’s thought? What will you be really missed for? Surely, you’ll be missed but for what? What will be the outcome of your interactions with peers, friends, team members, colleagues, neighbors and most especially, strangers? Will they miss you for the peace you bring or for the peace you take away? Will you be missed for your friendliness or for your hostility? Will that stranger you met today remember he/she met an angel? Common, it’s so easy. Just have a heart for others.

Don’t be stingy with your smile. There are more where it came from! You can’t exhaust the supply of smiles God gave you. A smile is so important yet its so free. Be lavish with your smiles and be sincere about it. Your smile kindles a spark of love in whoever receives it. It doesn't hurt to smile, even to a stranger, rather, a smile breaks the wall of hostility between you and others. It softens the heart of all who receives it when it is done sincerely. It makes others comfortable with you and it boosts your confidence. You don’t lose anything when you give someone a smile.

Choose to be kind! Kind people are held dear! The world will be so acidic and cruel if mankind has lost the virtue of kindness. Choose to allow others get ahead of you. Choose to help pick a fallen pen. Choose to clean a seat for someone. Choose to comment on someone’s dressing or beauty. Choose to help someone for free. Help that granny with a chair, she can’t stand for too long. Give someone else your seat when there are others standing while you are sitting. Consider the poor, the pregnant, the aging, the disabled, the hurting and rejected. Choose to offer them a little of the kindness they desire badly but have been so long denied of. Common, it’s not difficult. Be an angel with a heart of gold.

It is a fact that every living being aches for love and affection. Maturity doesn't take that need away. Everyone you come across, no matter how old, rich, powerful, poor, educated or not educated, remember that he/she is begging you to SIGN YOUR AUTOGRAPH ON THEM. Don’t deny them that plea.

So, when are you going to start signing your autographs on people? Now?

If yes, begin with me. Hahahaha...just kidding!

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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Am I a fool?

How are you friends? It is another inspiring week. I must tell you that this week has been more of a tutorial to me. Make a commitment to learn something from all that happens to you each day for that is how real lessons of life are learnt. I am getting better with each experience, good and bad alike.

The today talk is a mind troubling one! Am I a fool? Are you a FOOL? 

You will decide that...

It is a question that is often asked especially when it involves issue of rights and honor. But come to think of it, have you been a fool? What if you have been a fool? That's hard to say anyway! Let me run the attributes of fools. I think after you go through this you proudly know if you've been a fool or a wise person.

• It is a fool that believes in politeness in our current world of rudeness.
• It is a fool that waits for his/her turn on a queue without 'shunting'.
• It is a fool that says 'I am sorry'. The wise are never sorry. Why should they be?
• It is a fool that says 'Thank you'. The wise believe its their right to be helped by others.
• It is a fool that chooses to clean up the dishes after meal while others are busy watching 'Gulder Ultimate Search'.
• It is a fool that believes in courtesy and humility. The wise call humility cowardice.
• It is a fool that goes about seeking repairs for what others destroyed.
• It is a fool that will not cheat in an exams despite having opportunities to do so. I don't know why fools always keep their integrity.
• It is a fool that waits to be told before they do things. The wise know better!
• It is a fool that smiles when insulted. The wise are very pro-active. A good slap from them will do!

The world have been blessed by fools who knew better than to fight for everything in the name of fighting for their rights. From Mother Theresa who will always run after homeless and helpless children instead of concentrating on her religious duties, to the student who will refuse to cheat instead of passing with high grades, we see all sort of ‘folly’ displayed.

It is a brave thing to be a fool in today’s world of wise people. It is blessed to be the fool that will add value to others than to be the wise man that robs others of their will to live through strife, rudeness and heartlessness. The level of wickedness has made every good man look like a fool and wickedness has become ‘wisdom’! Every sincere person is counted a weakling while insincere and heartless brutes are termed brave. Brave, my foot! The world celebrates the fierce and the rude and terms them ‘smart’while the cool-headed guy is mocked and called a ‘sissy’.

What our values? What do we really live for? What really counts? Is it brutality or humility? “smartness”or sincerity? Why do the world look down on sincere people but identifies and immortalizes insincere people? It makes me wonder at times if the world approves of such acts of wickedness. Isn't it the same society who mocks the “sincere” that complains with bitter tears about the injustice of the “insincere”? I wonder sometimes who is really the fool and the fooled! I wonder the title of the drama is. Which drama? The drama we see everyday...in the mall, on the streets, in religious centers, in the market, etc. People cheer the harsh bully who will beat up a fellow being rather than bear an insult but will mock the cool-headed guy who walks away when insulted! People laugh at the guy with a high sense of responsibility, calling him a “too-know” but yet cry out in pains at the irresponsibility of government and other authorities Isn't that a wonderful drama! Funny! Bizarre! Very foolish!

If this is what the world calls ‘wisdom’then I am very proud to be a fool! If hurting a fellow being is what constitutes ‘wisdom’in our generation, then i refuse to be ‘wise’. I will gladly remain a fool. If wisdom means trampling others down and thinking about myself only the I AM A FOOL!

Ask yourself again, in the context of what we have discussed, are you a fool? If you are not yet a fool, i recommend you become one. Strip yourself of your ego. Think more about the other fellow. Be considerate. Be kind. Let others have the lion share. Allow others to light their candles from your light. It will in no way decrease the brightness of your light, rather, you be multiplying yourself in others. Take a break and say something polite to others. 

These are the things ‘fools’like me do which has given us rich, stress-less and fulfilling lives. If you are a ‘fool’ like me, I congratulate you. You are brave. Spread your light. Be more ‘foolish’. You aren't alone. ‘Foolish’people like you and me are those who have sustained mankind till date. Scream from the rooftops after reading this ...I AM A FOOL! You will startle people for sure. Explain what you mean and be sure to observe what ‘wise’people will say. Do this and catch fun! You will discover that there are very few foolish people...whom the world can do nothing without! 

Cheers...

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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HEROES' GENE

It's the beginning of a new week, friends. I hope the previous weeks haven't been sour for you? Well, I have something to share to keep your minds busy for sometime. Enjoy!!! 

 I have come to discover through careful observation and study of the human race that a breed of humans exist who are naturally wired for greatness. It doesn't matter if they are educated or not. They always achieve more glory than others even if their efforts are minimal. They always stand out among their peers. They are like 'gods' to/among their peers. They cannot endure mediocrity. They just can't see a situation going bad and still stand idly to watch. It's very unlike them. Wherever they go they are easily noticed and respected no matter how young they are. They are not bothered by impossibility. Nothing is too difficult for them to do. In fact, they love tackling tough things. One funny thing is that they are always entrusted with leadership even if they do not desire it. They can not camouflage their personality even if they wish to. People desire their friendship not minding if they are too young, ugly, poor, uneducated or disabled . I have discovered that there's something in them that speaks volumes about them to whoever they come across. There's something that makes them act, think, speak, relate and dream differently. It's what I termed the "HEROES' GENE". 

It can never be masked. It always seeks expression. One more thing....these people are born with this gene. They did not acquire it!! They didn't train themselves to be these. It's innate!! It's in-born!! Hmmm. Look around you, see for yourselves and prove me right. Ensure you catch fun this week. Life is too short to be wasted worrying over petty, ephemeral things. Don't waste an opportunity to share a smile with somebody...anybody!


Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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Don't avoid responsibility !!!

It's been quite a while, friends. Man make plans but sometimes circumstances rule. As a way to get things started again, I will share a short poem I had learnt as a young child which has kept me from fading away up till now and will definitely keep me till death. Enjoy!!!

Don't avoid RESPONSIBILITY.
It keeps you in ABILITY.
It is only an OPPORTUNITY.
For God's purpose to come to REALITY.
With all HUMILITY.
And using at your disposal every FACILITY.
You can attain a height of DIVINITY.
People will wonder at your MATURITY.
As God makes you a man of INTEGRITY.
All God needs is your AVAILABILITY.
You must also retain your SENSITIVITY.
And avoid too much ACTIVITY.
But remain in God's VICINITY.
Knowing that your labor is not in FUTILITY. Hope you enjoyed that?

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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PAINS OF DISABILITY

To laugh at deformity or infirmity is enormity. It’s a great crime indeed. I stumbled on a picture on Facebook. It was that of a deformed baby. There was a comment that the baby has been sent from hell to destroy her family’s wealth, peace and joy. Imagine the wickedness in the hearts of men! Did any child opt for deformity? Did anybody choose that path? Countless people have been put into that way against their will and desire. Why, on earthy, should they be “out-classed”?

PAINS OF DISABILITY

        Disability comes with so much pain and troubles. It threatens to snuff out every ray of hope and light in a man’s life. Many have been buried under such pains, which shall be discussed below, while some few have mastered them well and are presently living excellent lives. I empathize with every disabled person. You have been strong! You have been brave!! You can actually be excellent.

PAINS OF LOSS OF ABILITY

        One major pain that crushes the heart of any disabled person is the reality that he/she has lost certain abilities. Imagine what pains reside in the heart of a carpenter or an engineer who has lost his hands, a painter who has lost his sight, a sportsman who’s now lame, or a youth with mental disability. Some people depend on certain parts of their bodies to achieve self-actualization. They can only be relevant when those parts are used. Some have spent their entire lives training that part of the body. Please, imagine the magnitude of their loss and pains before you start treating them like they are cursed beings.

        I remember those times when I had to cry my eyes out because I felt cheated. I always asked; “why should I be the odd one?” None of my friends stutter. No one was like me or understood what was happening to my fragile frame. I remember those times when questions will be asked in class and I’ll pretend as if I don’t know it. I preferred to be termed “dull” than to speak in class. I didn’t have the ability to speak fluently. My speech was terrible.

It’s even a lot easier for those who once had ability then lost it than for those who never had it all their lives. Some were born without sight. They have no idea what sunrise and sunset means. They have no idea of what colours mean. They will have no chance to see the world’s beauty. They don’t know what a smile or a frown looks like. They only carry blurred ideas about the structures of things. Some were born deaf having no idea what music is all about. They can’t hear themselves neither can they hear others. They have no idea what ‘sound’ is.  Some were born mentally disabled. If the people we term ‘normal’ have difficulty studying and learning, imagine the difficulty a mentally disabled person goes through. Some were born without limbs. That implies that they have never experienced what walking or running feels like. They’ve never enjoyed a jump. They’ve always been carried to place they want or do not want to go.

I remember seeing a youth in a busy part of my country dragging his body on the tarred road as he went about begging for alms. Nobody behaved as if he was there, some were even threatening him to leave their path. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone steps on him. This generation has degenerated so much that people have sold their hearts to wickedness. My heart bled as I watched him from inside a bus. I imagined how I would have coped if it was me. Is this suffering not enough? Why should we cause more pains to these distinct and valuable set of people instead of holding their hands and showing them love and care? It could have been you and not them. Listen carefully; there is no guarantee that you can not become disabled or impaired!!! None of them anticipated that they’ll become disabled or impaired, but today they are, or rather, we are (I inclusive).

PAINS OF MISUNDERSTANDING

        As I grew up, I discovered that one challenge I faced was misunderstanding. I really don’t know how relevant this is to you but I tell you the truth, it was one of the biggest challenges I faced then and I’m still face today. I remembered being accused of pride when I wouldn’t join my peers as they played or when I refused to join in their discussion (because I stutter). To the world, I was proud; to myself, I was covering an impairment. I didn’t want them to laugh at the funny way words come out my mouth, or at the extreme gestures of my hands and feet as I struggle to pronounce words.

        People who are disabled are always prone to staying away from whatever is associated with their area of disability. More so, they are always tempted to hide their disability, if they can. A person suffering from dyslexia (a disorder involving difficulty in learning to read or interpret words, letters and other symbols) might not join you in a spelling competition. A stammerer may not want to talk to you at times for reasons best known to him. He might not tell you his reason, but he trusts you to know he is loyal to you. He trusts you to believe in his judgment. He trusts you to believe he knows exactly what he’s doing. When you misunderstand the reason for his refusal to join you, you cause more pain and heartache to him.

        I hate people who always demand explanation to all of my actions. I have a difficulty talking so making me explain every of my move brings me much pain. Common, we need people that will help us forget our disabilities, not people that will amplify it!!! I tell you the truth; it is very difficult to live with a disability. Don’t amplify the difficulty. Take every disabled person the way they present themselves. I assure you, they have reasons why they act or have acted that way and I bet you, they may never explain to you why they act or have acted that way. They need your trust. They need you to understand them. Talking about such things increase the pain they feel. It reminds them of their loss.

       

PAINS OF DEPENDENCE

        Depending on others is one thing most humans do not enjoy. Every grown child yearns for freedom to do as he wants. The desire to be independent is innate. It’s natural in us, though; there are people who dread facing life alone and therefore prefer to be dependent all their lives.

        When people become disabled, there is a loss they experience; that is the loss of certain rights, privileges and control over their lives. A disability gnaws at their personality and threatens to shift their center of gravity. It gnaws at their very identity and unsettles whatever they had called a life. They lose privacy to everything except their hearts’ content.

    There is dependence on others for virtually everything. Eating, walking, sleeping, communicating, learning, etc is done with limited ease depending on the nature of the disability. It hurts them to always have to tell you what they want to do just because they can not help themselves. The realization that they can no longer have freedom of actions hurts them real bad. I recall those painful times when I desire a favour from my dad and find it hard to speak. I’ll explain (with difficulty) to my younger brother imploring him to communicate it to my dad. Some times it worked, but at other times, after hearing my plight he will still refuse to go. Many times, I have cried at my loss of freedom to say what I feel is right when I want and how I want to. I still have to depend on people from time to time even as I write this piece.

        I write because I went through hell until I struck a deal with nature and since then, have had reasons to appreciate my loss and make substitutes for what I don’t have. I’m trying to identify with you wherever you are, whatever is your nature of disability; whatever it is, I’m sure we can strike a deal with nature and start smiling while those who see themselves as “able-bodies” begin to doubt their “able-bodied-ness”.

PAINS OF BEING MOCKED

        It is a great crime to laugh at disability or inability. It is a crime to humanity, nature and God. People with disabilities are seen as plagues which must be avoided. Many disabled people have served as object of amusement to a lot of people – heartless and ignorant people. I don’t understand why a human should derive pleasure in something that causes despair in another. Some have lost their hearts, I must confess. Disabled people are subject to all forms of ridicule and in some cases violence. Since they are disadvantaged, others encroach on their right. Watch closely around you, and then you’ll observe that disabled people are more often alone than in the company of others. How can people who didn’t choose to be the way they are be mocked as if they have been cursed for their crimes? To laugh at disability or inability is enormity (Anonymous). I remember a time when I was chosen to represent my class in a debate. It was a war in my heart. I tried as much as I can to escape it. I even told my English Language teacher frankly that I stutter. Instead of replacing me with someone, he encouraged me to try. I did and I really learnt a lot from it. As the debate started, I struggled to say words, (it is not I do not know what to say. In my mind, I was speaking excellently, convincingly and fluently. But somehow, the words were not coming out as fluent as it was in my heart) I saw my best friend having a good laugh. He joined others as they laughed their ribs to a crack. Sincerely, if he hadn’t joined them, I would have been greatly encouraged. But he did, and that really broke my heart. Friends, when you are mocked because of your disability, please, understand that it is not all grown humans that are mentally grown. Just walk away.

PAINS OF REJECTION

         For a long time, I thought my dad didn’t love me because of my speech impairment. For over a decade, I only had official relationship with him - nothing more. When I finally knew I was wrong, it was a great relief. That was when confidence and enthusiasm featured in my life. The thought that I was rejected for what I didn’t bring on myself was so damaging to my self esteem that I had suicidal thought twice before I turned 21. Thank God I was wrong. Many out there are facing rejection every minute of the day. They are humiliated in public and in their privacy. They are out-classed and seen as evil – an epidemic to protect one’s self from. I remember a friend telling me that in some states in Nigeria, the government provide shelter for disabled people in isolated areas. These isolated areas are far out of town where they have no contact with “normal” people. This is not just depressing but an anomaly. It’s a dent on the integrity of whoever did that. Disabled people are treated as if disability is contagious.

        Since there is no forum for disabled people to air their grievances and hurts, they bottle these pains in their hearts hoping that someday, somehow, someone will understand. Why is it that our people seem far away from us while strangers are so close? Why is it that it’s our own people (our friends and family) that cause the greatest hurts? Why is it that those we expect to rally round us and give us hope are the last to accept us? I’ve faced rejection from friends countless of times. I suffered from low self esteem as a child and even today, there are still traces of low self esteem in me.

THOUGHTS OF LIMITATION: OUR GREATEST FOE

          We are often times the products of our thoughts. He that has limited himself in his thought has limited how far he can go. I struggled with low self esteem for a greater part of the short time I’ve spent here on earth. I had the mindset that I was a mistake, a comma where there ought to be a dot, a misfit, whatever derogatory you can think of. I read meaning into every change in behavior of people towards me. Every withdrawal from me reminds me of my impairment. Even when a request is ignored or turned down by anyone, I am reminded of my impairment and I start wishing it wasn’t there. My thought pattern was terribly wrong and it damaged my self esteem. I got to a stage in life and I started thinking right. Now I’m not held down, though, I still stutter. The impairment didn’t go, yet I feel great with my life.

        Our greatest foe is the thought that we are limited just because we lack certain abilities. I changed my thought pattern and my outlook to life changed altogether. I got angry with how I felt about myself, so I decided to make up for my loss by using the abilities I have left to make a name for myself.

        I challenge you today to shove aside your low self esteem. Push aside the feeling that you are disadvantaged. The truth is that whatever you believe, you become. When I thought I was a misfit, I had suicidal thought twice but when I changed that thought pattern, my self esteem grew.

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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What madness is this?

What is life? A combination of days, weeks and months or a compilation of different unconnected events? I hate to think of life in those terms. Does life have a fixed outcome or is it subject to variability? Should one live his life as a playback of another person's life? Is the outcome of life predictable or can it be likened to a suspense movie where the next scene cannot be predicted? These and many more I’ll love to ask. If life is something that is meant to be lived just as a train is designed to ply rail and an aircraft is created to ply the atmosphere, then it makes no sense to me. If life is subject to variability, why then do majority of people frown at lives different from what they have termed ‘normal’? Why is everyone expected to achieve the same thing if life is to be lived separately? Why does the society frown at those who do not follow the steps of others who have found success? Is there just one path to success? By the way, whoever has been able to define success? Why should one man’s idea be impressed on thousand others? Why not give each member of the society a chance to discover or plan for him or herself how he/she intends to achieve what he/she thinks is important to him/her? Why build pressure on young people?

It is so evident that most youths today are confused and weary simply because they are living the life of another person. They don’t have a chance to show what they've got just because the society thinks they’ll fail. Who is the society to shape the life of a youngster? What does the society know about life or how to achieve personal success? What does the society know about an individual’s potentials, talents, likes and dislikes? Everybody look alike to ‘society’. Everybody is the same person to ‘society’. That explains why it tends to squeeze everyone into one single huge mould. Why should this madness continue? Who says there are no other ways to achieve one’s dream except by plying the worn out path of men? Whatever happened to creativity? Whatever happened to diversity of thought? Whatever happened to meditation? Everyone is confused and would rather follow the worn out path of men than think about new paths.

I believe in weirdness. I believe in variability. I believe in diversity. I encourage those who think out of the box. I hail those who go out of the normal to do ‘abnormal’ but right things. Why should we live same lives when in reality we are not the same? Why should our lives turn out the same way when our compositions are different? Little wonder why majority of people can’t explain what their life is like while a microscopic few find meaning and satisfaction in life.

I am nursing a thought now and I already expect rejection from ‘society’. I know that a bulk of those who care about me will frown at the idea I am having right now. Tell me, why I should waste 6 years of my life learning what can not carry across my present location? Tell me why you think school offers the only way to success. Tell me why you think whoever is not ‘schooled’ (I didn’t say ‘educated’) cannot find satisfaction in life. Tell me why I should live my life as if my future is subject to an institution, however important the society places such institution. No one has a secret ingredient for success. It lies in everyone and will come forth without struggle if we provide a fitting environment for it. When you give society the opportunity to chart the course of your life using its frail and diseased knowledge of what success is, you open yourself to the possibility of irrelevance and insecurity throughout whatever you will eventually call ‘your life’.

What is this madness I see around me? People deny their gifts and talents all because of fame, wealth and power. Who made wealth life’s priority? Parents crave for social prestige at the expense of their children’s future happiness and satisfaction; therefore they carve their children’s path to suite their devilish desires. Of course, I say devilish because these children grow up to become very incompetent, frustrated and insecure, secretly cursing their parents for the hard life they have been ushered into. Who says a young person cannot find his own way in life? Who says he must be guided until he is 50 (just kidding!)? It is very funny and disheartening to discover the secret hurts of many whom we assume to have found meaning to life. They loathe life so much that they wish they had been allowed to chart their life’s course themselves. A youth left to himself will bring himself to destruction, you would say, but tell me, what have youths guided by ‘society’ and ‘confused parents’ done with their lives in spite of the ‘guidance’ they received? Abeg free me jooorrrrr!!!!!

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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BE RESPONSIBLE !!!

             It is easy to blame others for every wrong we see or experience. It is so easy to extricate ourselves from the causes of all anomalies existing in our communities. We do not see the relationship neither do we see ourselves in the picture as a contributing factor to whatever the cause is. We are too innocent, too holy, and too pure. Others must be blamed. The government must pay for these errors, we say.

Has it ever crossed your hearts that those people you blame are also seeing themselves the way you see yourself – INNOCENT! They also blame you for the evils in the society and will be so happy if you are punished for allowing these evils to exist and prevail.

Surprised? Don’t be. It is the nature of man to always see others as the problem. It takes a higher level of insight and maturity for a person to see himself as the cause to some, if not all, societal problems. That is when he can start making moves to change things and become really INNOCENT.

Mahatma Gandhi said “Be the change you want to see in the world”. Be that thing you feel the world ought to be. At least, that will stop someone’s complaints. Work left for somebody never gets done. Nobody is “SOMEBODY”. Take responsibility. Our generation finds it easy to point fingers at the government, at elders, at institutions, at leaders, at industries, at the economy, at the nation, etc. the salient question we have refused to ask ourselves is this… “Are these people perfect?” If it is a fact that they are not perfect, why sit down and whine about their imperfections when you can do something about it? You do not have to be a superstar neither must you have the spotlight on you before you make a change. Take responsibility!

How nice Nigeria will be if every Nigerian starts to do what he has capacity to do instead of waiting for the government. We wait for the government to take our garbage away. We wait for the government to clean up our streets. We wait for the government to clear our gutters and water channels as if it was the government that messed it up in the first place. We keep comparing ourselves with developed nations when we know so well that we are just at the brink of development. Who is the government, if I may ask? A person? No. In my own opinion, the government is abstract. The government has lots on its mind that it can’t remember your street’s filthiness or power instability. What have you done about the situation? What move have you made to mobilize people to fix the wrong instead of complaining while you wait for the government? I don’t know if you are waiting for the president to come with head pan and shovels to clean up your stuffed, blocked water channels. What will it cost you to do that and secure your health, your neighbors’ and most importantly, your family’s?

Before you raise your voice and point accusing fingers at others, sincerely ask yourselves these questions and answer them sincerely too… “What have I done to change the situation?”, “Can I really do nothing about it, as I claim?” The society has lost its focus! Justice miscarries. Priorities are no longer priorities.  Leaders have little time to think about their followers. In a state as this, it will be so pitiful if the abandoned followers refuse to do something about their situation but rather sit and grumble about it.

It’s time to rise and take RESPONSIBILITY. It’s time to chart your own path. I get upset when I hear energetic and healthy people whine about something they can take care of. They say all sort of emotional and motivational words – highlighting the government’s weaknesses and blah blah blah. I wish they were half as good in taking responsibility as much as they are in criticizing the government and other authorities. If you have not contributed to the development of any institution, you have no ground to criticize it. Leave criticism to the stakeholders because you are yet to be one.

ENDPOINT: A large proportion of people in our society have chosen to be irresponsible. Don’t be one of them! Do what you have to do. Don’t wait for anyone. Take responsibility over issues that affect you. Don’t endanger yourself by waiting for an ‘irresponsible’ leader to carry out his responsibility. Do something for yourself. Mike Murdock said “What you hate is a clue to what you are to heal”. If the filthiness around you irritates you, do something about it. If the dilapidated situation of your estate annoys you, fix it…..with your resources. You are doing it for your own good and you are developing your RESPONSIBILITY MUSCLE. Never let an opportunity to make a change pass you by. Never take your eyes away from any anomaly except when and if you can sincerely do nothing about it. Even if you can’t do anything, you can convince someone who can, to do something about it. Have a Problem-Solution Chart. List all problems you see around you: at home, work, school, church, mosque, etc. decide what you will do about them and start right away. It brings so much satisfaction to your life to know that you have relieved someone of pain.

My experience has shown that others want to make changes too but they lack courage. As soon as you step out to change things, they’ll join you and that will make the burden lot easier to bear.

Seek problems, think solutions, build courage and take action.

Take Charge (Be responsible!)

Contact me @ soaringeagle4life@gmail.com or +2348130207064

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